A Glass of Liberal Tears

Fuck it man. That’s the inspiration. That’s why.

That’s why, out of nowhere, Dr. Fuckheart over here gets the idea to start a website. I hate people that have websites. Fuck you if you have one.

Next up–I fucking join twatter.

I joined twatter and actually started twatting because that’s what you do when you’re a fuck and you decide to start a website. Like they say in Paris–fer fucks sakes. My first account was banned in less than 5 twats. Second account I think I got maybe 10 in before the ban hammer. Delete your offensive tweet. I think that was the message.

Why don’t you go get stabbed in the balls and die?

Most twatters out there are degenerate idiots. The type that are kidless, yet drive an SUV. Say stuff like: we need to end racism, check your privilege, respect my safe space. Shit that doesn’t mean shit. Even better is they say it in 140 or whatever characters to a bunch of strangers that feel like it really, like totally meant something. I know you’ve heard this before, you even say it to all your fake friends when you’re complaining about hoe fake everything is. My hairdresser told me that redheads would be extinct in 50 years, she really thought that was true.

That’s why you cut hair you stupid fuck, because anything else more mentally taxing would give you a seizure.

But I can’t say that.

I’ll tell you what you can’t say. You can’t say anything that hurts feelings, can’t make a bad joke (unless it’s a group-think approved bad joke). You definitely can’t call a faggot a faggot, even when his gay lover is drunk and arguing with him…and calling him a faggot. You can’t disagree with progress. Don’t get dread locks and join a inner city gang. Purses are a symbol of oppression. Why don’t they make black ice cream? Always yield to the ambulance when you’re driving into oncoming traffic, stoned on prescription meds that your doctor sold you, while you twat out shit. Drunk on Starbucks. Dreaming about fucking the unholy fuck out of your right hand for a change if you could only put your phone down for a few minutes.

This is the height of society.